Surviving Christmas Single

It's the most wonderful time of the year. 

For months now, we singles have been bombarded with images, ads and even invitations to events that remind us that we are indeed single and alone during Christmas. 

Facebook ads on my home page daily invite me to find the Christian man of my dreams before Christmas so I can enjoy it. There are always the lose weight to find a match type of ads and now also on the scene are the, stay fat and meet a nice Christian man who is looking for a large women ads. When I Google single Christian, ads abounded such as: Surviving Christmas Single at E-Harmony, enjoy a free weekend of match making, Divine Match (sounds pretty holy to me) and of course my all time favorite, advice for singles, how to find prince charming.

Elaborate company Christmas party's pressure us to find a date and buy a little black dress (or for us over 40s a semi little, little black dress), go to the party alone, or find an excuse to stay at home. We are bombarded with subtle and sometimes not so subtle messages that we are not really enough if we are single. Call Mom and Dad and they ask questions about your love life like: "Are you seeing anyone yet", "We want you to be married before we die so we don't have to worry about you" (we won't worry when we are dead folks)

At church we are not excluded from these messages, though I think most faith communities work very hard to be sensitive to the plight of us singles. We have lovely young families come up front to light the advent candle each week, we offer Christmas tree lighting ceremonies and other celebrations advertized as family events in the bulletin. We search hard to find our place in Christian community, but the reality is we are not the majority, most Life Community Groups are for young families , women's ministries tend to be filled with June Cleaver type role models who do crafts, and those Christian singles events can actually be pretty depressing. (I still have nightmares about a particular speed dating event)

Okay so here is the good news for us at Christmas, we may be single, but we are not alone. As a matter of fact God is with us! That's what Christmas is all about, God came near, He came to walk among us and by the way Jesus stayed single His whole earthly life (how comforting is that for those of us in our forties, who are not sure if God will call us to remain single or bring us a spouse) As our pastor reminded me during his Christmas message last night, God came to people on the fringes first. He came to those who were not the majority first, to let them know that He was for them. That they mattered, that they had a voice and a purpose, and to let them know that they were enough just as they were. They would never be alone again! How cool is our God?

I am convinced that those Norman Rockwell type images we all have of families and holidays are a tool of Satan that cause us to strive for an unattainable normal.The more I live, the more I am convinced that normal is only a cycle on the washing machine! There are many ways to feel single within our faith communities: Are you the only believer in your family? Do you long for your loved ones to know the real meaning of Christmas? Are you divorced ? A single parent? Are you grieving the death of your spouse? Are you 1000s of miles away from your homeland and all that is familiar to you? Do you find yourself far away from loved ones? Are you a Christian women with the gift of leadership but a part of a faith community that doesn't allow women to lead? Are you having marital problems? It's easy for many of us to feel like we are single, on the fringes or alone. But we are not alone, God is with us, He is for us, and He knows what you are feeling. If you have opened your heart to receive Him, you are a member of the family of God. He included us, He adopted us into His royal family. Take comfort and hold on that. I know that Christmas is a challenging time of year for me, I am not going to lie or try to sugar coat it. But these are the truths of God that I hold at the center of my being. After all we are just passing through this life on the way to the next one (and we will all be so complete in heaven, that no one will feel the need to be married there)

Have a joy filled Christmas my friends! May we each be surrounded by the love of Emmanuel, God with us!